As with any other ancient civilization, India is a land of deep-rooted customs. Customs are nurtured and nourished to maintain deeply held values. Today, we often shy away from doing things which have no seemingly immediate gratification, thus loosing what our ancient civilization had instilled upon our fore-fathers. India is a multi-cultural combination of a mix of a myriad of peoples, religions, ethnic backgrounds all resulting in a multitude of customs. (Keep thinking of India as Europe – Europe has customs, habits and cuisines made of up of Germans, French, Italians, Spanish, British (cuisine??!!) and many others). Thus you will find different customs being practiced in different parts of India.

The following is not an essay on the values of customs, but a short explanation of some of the more commonly found and universally practiced customs a foreign visitor will experience in visiting India.

Etiquette for Women

It is quite normal for women to not be touched. When meeting a woman for the first time, (or for a woman meeting another for the first time), it is safest to do a little bow and say “namaste” (see below). Extending ones hand, and shaking hands is not at all taboo, but some women would prefer not to be touched.

Why do we have a prayer room?
Many Indian homes have a prayer room or altar. In Hindu households, a lamp is lit and the Lord worshipped each day. Other spiritual practices like japa (repetition of the Lord’s name), meditation, paaraayana (reading of the scriptures), prayers, devotional singing, etc., is also done here. Special worship is done on auspicious occasions such as birthdays of loved ones – both human and the Gods, anniversaries, festivals and the like, but each member of the family, young or old, communes with and worships the Divine here.

Since the Lord is considered the creator, He is therefore the true owner of the house we live in too. We are mere earthly occupants of His property, thus this notion rids us of false pride and possessiveness.

Since the Lord is all-pervading, and to remind us that He resides in our homes with us, we have prayer rooms.

Each room in a house is dedicated to a specific function like the bedroom for resting, the living room to receive guests, the kitchen for cooking etc. The furniture, decor and the atmosphere of each room are made conducive to the purpose it serves. So too a conducive atmosphere is required for the purpose of meditation, worship and prayer, thus the need for a prayer room.

Sacred thoughts and sound vibrations pervade the place and influence the minds of those who spend time there. Spiritual thoughts and vibrations accumulated through regular meditation, worship and chanting done there pervade the prayer room. Even when we are tired or agitated, by just sitting in the prayer room for a while, we feel calm, rejuvenated and spiritually uplifted.

Why do we do namasté?
Indians greet each other with namasté (na-mas-té). The two palms are placed together in front of the chest and the head bows whilst saying the word namasté. This greeting is for all people younger than us, of our own age, those older than us, friends and even strangers.

There are five forms of formal traditional greeting enjoined in the shaastras of which namaskaram is one. This is understood as prostration but it actually refers to paying homage as we do today when we greet each other with a namasté.

Namasté could be just a casual or formal greeting, a cultural convention or an act of worship. However there is much more to it than meets the eye. In Sanskrit namah + te = namasté. It means I bow to you my greetings, salutations or prostration to you. Namaha can also be literally interpreted as “na ma” (not mine). It has a spiritual significance of negating or reducing one’s ego in the presence of another.

The real meeting between people is the meeting of their minds. When we greet another, we do so with namasté, which means, “may our minds meet,” indicated by the folded palms placed before the chest. The bowing down of the head is a gracious form of extending friendship in love and humility.

The spiritual meaning is even deeper. The life force, the divinity, the Self or the Lord in me is the same in all. Recognising this oneness with the meeting of the palms, we salute with head bowed the Divinity in the person we meet. That is why sometimes, we close our eyes as we do namasté to a revered person or the Lord as if to look within. The gesture is often accompanied by words like “Ram Ram”, “Jai Shri Krishna”, “Namo Narayana”, “Jai Siya Ram”, “Om Shanti” etc indicating the recognition of this divinity.

When we know this significance, our greeting does not remain just a superficial gesture or word but paves the way for a deeper communion with another in an atmosphere of love and respect.

Why do we put marks (tilak, bindi, pottu and the like) on our foreheads?
The tilak or pottu invokes a feeling of sanctity in the wearer and others. It is recognized as a religious mark. Its form and color vary according to one’s caste, religious sect or the form of the Lord worshipped.

In earlier times, the four castes (based on varna or colour) Brahmana, Kshatriya, Vaishya and Sudra applied marks differently. The brahmin applied a white chandan mark signifying purity, as his profession was of a priestly or academic nature. The kshatriya applied a red kumkum mark signifying valour as he belonged to warrior races. The vaishya wore a yellow kesar or turmeric mark signifying prosperity as he was a businessman or trader devoted to creation of wealth. The sudra applied a black bhasma, kasturi or charcoal mark signifying service as he supported the work of the other three divisions.

Also Vishnu worshippers apply a chandan tilak of the shape of “U”, Shiva worshippers a tripundra (Saivite sectarian mark, consisting of three horizontal lines of vibhuti (holy ash) on the brow, often with a dot (bindu) at the third eye) of bhasma, Devi worshippers a red dot of kumkum and so on).

The tilak cover the spot between the eyebrows, which is the seat of memory and thinking. It is known as the Aajna Chakra in the language of Yoga. The tilak is applied with the prayer “May I remember the Lord. May this pious feeling pervade all my activities. May I be righteous in my deeds.” Even when we temporarily forget this prayerful attitude the mark on another reminds us of our resolve. The tilak is thus a blessing of the Lord and a protection against wrong tendencies and forces.

The entire body emanates energy in the form of electromagnetic waves the forehead and the subtle spot between the eyebrows especially so. That is why worry generates heat and causes a headache. The tilak and pottu cools the forehead, protects us and prevents energy loss. sometimes the entire forehead is covered with chandan or bhasma. Using plastic reusable “adhesive bindis” is not very beneficial, even though it serves the purpose of decoration.

Why do we ring the bell in a temple?  Is it to wake up the Lord? But the Lord never sleeps. Is it to let the Lord know we have come? He does not need to be told, as He is all-knowing. Is it a form of seeking permission to enter His precinct? It is a homecoming and therefore entry needs no permission. The Lord welcomes us at all times. Then why do we ring the bell?

The ringing of the bell produces what is regarded as an auspicious sound. It produces the sound Om, the universal name of the Lord. There should be auspiciousness within and without, to gain the vision of the Lord who is all-auspiciousness.

Even while doing the ritualistic aarati, we ring the bell. It is sometimes accompanied by the auspicious sounds of the conch and other musical instruments. An added significance of ringing the bell, conch and other instruments is that they help drowned any inauspicious or irrelevant noises and comments that might disturb or distract the worshippers in their devotional ardour, concentration and inner peace.

Why do we prostrate before parents and elders?  Indians prostrate before their parents, elders, teachers and noble souls by touching their feet. The elder in turn blesses us by placing his or her hand on or over our heads. Prostration is done daily, when we meet elders and particularly on important occasions like the beginning of a new task, birthdays, festivals etc. In certain traditional circles, prostration is accompanied by abhivaadana which serves to introduce one-self, announce one’s family and social stature.

Man stands on his feet. Touching the feet in prostration is a sign of respect for the age, maturity, nobility and divinity that our elders personify. It symbolizes our recognition of their selfless love for us and the sacrifices that they have done for our welfare. It is a way of humbly acknowledging the greatness of another. This tradition reflects the strong family ties which has been one of India’s enduring strengths.

The good wishes (Sankalpa) and blessings (aashirvaada) of elders are highly valued in India. We prostrate to seek them. Good thoughts create positive vibrations. Good wishes springing from a heart full of love, divinity and nobility have a tremendous strength. When we prostrate with humility and respect, we invoke the good wishes and blessings of elders which flow in the form of positive energy to envelop us. This is why the posture assumed whether it is in the standing or prone position, enables the entire body to receive the energy thus received.

The different forms of showing respect are Pratuthana rising to welcome a person.

Namaskaara paying homage in the form of namasté (see above).

Upasangrahan touching the feet of elders or teachers.

Shaashtaanga prostrating fully with the feet, knees, stomach, chest, forehead and arms touching the ground in front of the elder.

Pratyabivaadana returning a greeting.

Rules are prescribed in our scriptures as to who should prostrate to whom. Wealth, family name, age, moral strength and spiritual knowledge in ascending order of importance qualified men to receive respect. This is why a king though the ruler of the land, would prostrate before a spiritual master. Epics like the Ramayana and Mahabharata have many stories highlighting this aspect.